Self-Care for Parents and Carers

Raising kids is challenging! Family life is too. Caring for ourselves sometimes feels like the absolute last thing on the list. By the time we’ve taken care of everyone and everything else, we are often left feeling depleted and exhausted, reaching for the quickest possible solution to our own needs. The problem is that relationships are a giving and receiving equation – we need both to thrive. We are built for healthy human connection but we are not built to sustain extended periods of emotional, physical and psychological overwhelm. So how can we tell if we are over stretched? And what can we really do about it? We know we are over the line when we move from feeling stretched to stressed, from hopeful to hopeless, from engaged to disengaged, from curious to furious and from caring to care-less.

Okay so step 1, whether we recognise these emotional shifts or not, we need to do a daily self-check-in. So breathe and pause, even just for 60 seconds and ask yourself, “how am I feeling right now”?, “is there anything triggering me in this moment”?, “what can I do differently to be safe”?, “what do I need”?, “who can I talk to”?, “am I remembering to breathe”? Step 2, breathe and turn your attention to making life giving statements that reinforce your value. “I am important too”, “I am worthy”, “I am capable”, “my feelings matter”, “I will get through this”, I have a lot to offer”, “it’s okay to ask for help”. You truly are valuable. Whether your journey so far has reinforced this or not, it’s the truth. You are valuable enough to take time to care for. Step 3, breathe and build something into your day that emphasises your unique value as a human being. Something that promotes connection – to yourself, your environment and others. It can be small. Whatever it is, it matters because it reflects and honours you.

Caring means giving, so while you are continually giving out to others, make sure you give to you as well. Because you matter too.

Keep breathing…

Andrew Rienecker.